In honor of Valentine's Day, this post is about one of the hardest people to love: yourself.
No one is as hard on us as we are on ourselves; we expect hard and sometimes unrealistic things from ourselves. It's far too easy to look around a room of people, and think to ourselves that everyone around us has it all together. They are confident and organized, and they don't have any real struggles. You would be right to assume they appear as if it's all okay, but wrong to assume that is the actual case. In reality, everyone has challenges they are trying to push through. It's not just you, you are not alone.
Self-confidence is one of the biggest challenges for everyone today, but I see young girls targeted all the time. If you aren't one thing, you're another, and society judges young women no matter what they are interested in, making it extremely difficult for them to love themselves. It's disgusting, but it's real. It's a huge challenge for many girls on the high school scene right now.
Loving yourself and being confident is hard. Really hard. I know I'm far from perfect in this area, but I have a few suggestions for anyone who might be struggling with confidence.
1) My first point of advice comes from a quote from Venus Williams, which states, "Just believe in yourself. Even if you don't, pretend that you do and, at some point, you will." There are going to be days where getting out of bed seems nearly impossible. There will be days your confidence is dragging on the floor, waiting for you to pick it up, but for some reason, you can't find the strength to do so. There will be days when the last person you want to love is yourself. These are the days you need it most. Believe that you can, believe you are capable of grand things, because you are. Yes, it might be hard to love yourself, but if you don't invest a little love in yourself, it could end up being detrimental to your spirit, to your soul. You, my dearest, are amazing, even if you can't see it right now. Get a sticky note, and write a little note to yourself about how amazing you are, and post it on your mirror. Every day when you look in it, repeat the inspirational message to yourself, and you will see that over a period of time, you do start to see the good in yourself. It starts with believing in yourself, and believing in your capabilities. I need you to think for a minute. Think about someone you know who has confidence. When they walk, they hold themselves up, and they know they are meant to be wherever they are. You can do this, too. It always amazes me how much more confident I feel when I walk with my shoulders square and my back straight. There will be days when you simply can't believe in yourself, and that's okay. Those days, you still get up, you still get dressed, and you still act like you love yourself, even if you can't possibly admit to yourself that you actually do. Keep pretending you do, because at some point, when you pretend something long and hard enough, it actually comes to pass. You're worth loving, and I believe that you can believe in yourself.
2) My second tip is you don't need to please everyone. Dress to please yourself, speak to please yourself, and act to please yourself. I don't mean to disregard manners, or anything of that sort. You have to march to your own beat, and feed your own soul. There is no way to please everyone and keep yourself happy. It's not possible. You don't need to seek approval from other people. If you are doing what you love, and it makes you happy, then good for you! You're loving yourself, and investing in your soul, and that's magical. If you are constantly trying to please others, trying to get their approval, you will end up wasting too much time and energy on that, and you'll have no motivation left to chase your dreams! Confidence is beautiful, and once you have it, run with it, and don't worry about the people who talk.
3) Sometimes, you have to psych yourself up. Never underestimate the power of an outfit you feel good in on a day that's far from good. (For me, this is jeans and a hoodie, but I feel good in it.) It's hard to show up fully prepared to be amazing every day, so if you have to put on some feel good music, and do your winged eyeliner so you're totally ready to fend off the negativity that might come your way that day, then do it! Do whatever you have to do to wire yourself to love everything about you. Yes, we all have flaws. It's part of our human nature. It's alright to admit you had a bad day, but it was a bad day, and it doesn't make your life bad. Try again tomorrow, and this time, psych yourself up a little more. You can do it:)
4) My last point is also originating from a quote that speaks to my soul. "When you have confidence, you can have a lot of fun. And when you have fun, you can do amazing things." I don't know about you, but I think Joe Namath hit that one perfectly. If you are constantly comparing yourself to others, it sucks the fun out of something really, really fast. It also makes it hard to love yourself, and if you don't love yourself, it's hard to have confidence. Do your thing, and have fun doing it. For me, smiling seems to lighten my soul, lifting a weight of questions and self doubt off my shoulders. I don't mean the reserved, fake kind of smiles. I mean the ones where your eye sparkles, and maybe your nose scrunches up. When a job or task becomes fun, the load seems easier to bear. If for you, your task is to live, then find a way to make it fun. There are tasks that seem draining, but if you add even a small element of fun, it's much more engaging and makes you want to do a better job. You CAN do amazing things, and you can do them with confidence, because you, my dear, are wonderful and lovable.
I know loving yourself can be hard, no one is perfect, but each of us are perfectly imperfect. And that is something to love. Remember to repeat your positive mantra, and walk tall. You can do it, I believe in you, and I believe that you can believe in yourself.
P. S. All the photos featured in the post are of Bailey Cahoon and myself, because she is amazing, and today's post is inspired by her. She chose the topic, so I think it's fitting she's in the photos.
