Lifted

Alright here's a long winded story about a little girl named Jill. (Yes, it's me.) Let's go back to grade 9. One morning, on my way to school, my hand and leg on the left side started going numb, followed by tingling. I didn't think anything of it, until it spread to my face. I couldn't talk right, I was slurring my speech, and I was scared. Shortly after the tingling sensation, a pounding migraine set in. Little did I know that would be the first of many.

I went to the doctor, who didn't really know what was going on, so he sent me to a lot of specialists. After many appointments, MRIs, and lots of days spent in my basement, I was done. I was done emotionally, physically, and mentally. My desire to keep fighting was wavering; there wasn't an end in sight because we didn't know why they were happening in the first place. 

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland came to speak in Lethbridge, Alberta at a youth conference that spring. I don't remember much about the talks, but he left an apostolic blessing that the righteous desires of our hearts would be fulfilled. That blessing gave me a sliver of hope to hang on to, something to grasp when I just wanted to feel better. My healing wasn't immediate, but it was miraculous. I didn't change anything (I had tried but nothing was working), yet I was able to function. I kept putting one foot in front of the other, holding to that promise and holding to Christ. The migraines spread out, and the daily headache nearly vanished. I am still affected by them, but they are no longer nearly as crippling. 

If you're still reading this, props to you. I'm almost done, but I have to tell you something. God does what He says He will do, whether it be through Him or through one of His servants. His love is real, it is wonderful, and it is saving. The gospel of Jesus Christ lifts us up, and empowers us daily, whether we are struggling or are more stable at that point in time. The redeeming power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ to forgive us of our sins and mistakes is real, we can repent and He will remember them no more. The only way to find true, lasting joy is through Him. He will lift us up when we can no longer walk alone. I'm grateful for His love, and the peace He brings to me!

He Will Help Us

The best way to know if the gospel of Jesus Christ is for you is to live it as fully as possible. 

If you're struggling with anything, He will teach you through the Holy Ghost. 

If you are lost, lonely, afraid, sorrowful, hurt, angry, broken, bitter, anxious, depressed, scared, or resentful, He will help you overcome those feelings. He has felt them, and He is mindful of you this exact second. 

If you are struggling to find peace, joy, comfort, patience, love, faith, or hope, turn to Him, and He will fill you with those things as we come to Him with a humble heart and are willing to change. 

If you have a desire to change, and be forgiven of the wrongs you have done, He will help you. You haven't gone far enough that His redeeming power can no longer reach you. 

If you are struggling with your testimony, read the word of God, whether that be ancient scripture, or the words of modern day prophets. In fact, April 1st and 2nd, our prophets and apostles, who are God's humble servants and mouthpieces will speak to us live at 10 am and 2 pm. Tune in! 

If you are in the same boat as me, and struggling to know what the best plan is for you, and what paths you should take, hang on. As we strive to obey God's commandments and align our lives so our will and His will are parallel, we will be guided and He will direct our paths. We can't just sit and wait for an answer, we need to keep acting, and keep working hard. 

If you don't know if God actually cares about you or has a hand in your life, I challenge you to find a notebook or journal, and write, "Today I Saw The Hand of The Lord in My Life When:" At first, it might be one line things where you know it could not have been a coincidence, but as you keep working on this, it will become apparent how huge of a role God plays in your life. Miracles will be recorded on those pages, both small and grand, and you will gain a testimony that God cares about you, and that He knows you personally. 

I know that as we turn to Christ, and make an effort to feel after Him, and find Him, we will find He is not far from every one of us. We will be empowered by the gospel of Jesus Christ, and we will be so overwhelmed with love for Him and for the gospel, we will want to share it with everyone. It saved me, still saves me literally on a daily basis, and I know without a doubt it can change your life for the better. 

CHS Gym

Dear Cardston High School Gym,

Thank you,

Thank you for being the first place I made friends when I moved here seven years ago. I attended a basketball camp, one of many you have hosted, and met some lovely people who shared my love of the game. These people I first met there are still some of the best friends I have and I am still close to them.

Thank you for teaching me about patience. I have realized that the game takes hours upon hours upon hours of work to become better, and that it doesn't come overnight. My shot won't be 100%, but it is better than it was when I started shooting. The world right now seems to think that everything needs to come fast, or it isn't worth it, but you taught me otherwise.

Thank you for teaching me to work hard, and not just hard, but harder than everyone else. I refuse to be outworked, and part of that came from you. Sometimes that work is put in alone, and sometimes it is when Coach (whoever that might have been over the years) says, "On the end line." I have dreaded those words for years because of what was coming next, but I will miss it, because that end line has been where the success of any team I have been on has been earned.

Thank you for letting me fall, and teaching me how to get back up. I have rolled ankles, hit my head hard, and left copious amounts of skin on your floor, and I appreciate you being kind enough to let me fall. It may have hurt both of us, but now I know that regardless of what occurs in my life, I will be able to get back up, and keep fighting. I have taken my fair share of falls on the basketball court, but they haven't been in vain.

Thank you for giving my teammates and I a place to bond. I don't know how many times I have been nearly on the floor from laughing so hard, or how many buckets of sweat I have shed, or how many tears have fallen in an effort to make each other better, and be there when one of us needs the others. We have each others backs no matter what.

Thank you for letting me interrupt your quiet moments. I know they are few and far between, as you are used for many, many hours a day, but those times where it is just me are wonderful. Bounce, bounce, two feet landing and taking off again, ball released, net snapping, repeated over and over and over. There's something special about that, something therapeutic, something that makes me feel the energy that lives in you, something that makes me feel strong again.

Thank you for always being there for me. Whether it be the morning after a loss, or one of the times I felt like that was the last place I wanted to be, or when I felt broken, or when I needed to relieve some built up stress, you have always been there, steady and consistent.

Thank you for being there for my teammates. It doesn't matter if we are going through breakups, or insanely hard classes, or health problems, or tough family situations, you are always there, ready for our chaos.

I feel the same energy inside you when the gym is packed and the crowd is wild and the score is close, as I do when I walk through on the way to class. It's just part of the magic, and the spark ignites regardless of the situation. I'm going to miss being inside of you every day, as my basketball career is coming to a close.

Thank you.

God Wants to Hear From You

God wants to hear from you.

In D& C 18:10, it says, “Remember the worth of souls is great in the sight of God.” He cares about you, he cares about your issues, he cares about the days you can’t put one foot in front of the other, he cares about the days our joys overcome us, he cares about the trials and the struggles we have, and he cares about your testimony. Why? Why would God, an Almighty Being who has created worlds without number, care about you? Because you are His child. Dieter F. Uchdorf said, “Just think of it: you are known and remembered by the most majestic, powerful, and glorious Being in the universe! You are loved by the King of infinite space and everlasting time!”

God wants to hear from you even if you don’t feel good enough. There are days where I don’t feel like I’m good enough, or smart enough, or strong enough, or kind enough, or pretty enough to accomplish what God has set in front of me to do. These days are days it is essential to hit your knees and ask God to help you overcome your weaknesses, and He will. He understands that this world can be overwhelming, as we are constantly bombarded with everything imaginable from all angles of our lives, and He is willing to help us. In fact, He wants to help us. He wants to help us see our worth, as His child, and if we turn to Him, He will allow us to understand and recognize our worth. If you don’t feel like you are good enough to talk to God, that is precisely when you need to. There is a quote from H. Burke Peterson that I love. It says, “You were preserved to come to the earth in this time for a special purpose, not just a few of you but all of you. There are things for each of you to do that no one else can do as well as you - if you will let Him, I testify that our Father in Heaven will walk with you through the journey of life and inspire you to know your special purpose here.”

God wants to hear from you when you feel joy. He wants to celebrate them with you. He wants to hear that you overcame an obstacle, no matter the size. He already knows, but He wants to hear it from you. Maybe your exquisite joy derived from a baptism, or a birth, or a marriage, or graduation, or any other monumental event, but perhaps your joy is found laughing with family after a long and stressful day, or going to visit a wonderful place, or attending the temple, or helping a friend, or sitting in a sacrament meeting. No matter the grandeur, He wants to hear about your joy. Don’t be afraid to pray because you don’t feel like you know what to say, or how to say it, or what the proper way to pray is. Those things will come as you pray more often.

God wants to hear from you when you don’t feel worthy to pray to Him. Recently, I have been studying the New Testament, and I love the parable of the prodigal son found in Luke 15. In the story, there are two sons. One remains righteous, and steadfast, while the other leaves his family, spends all his money, and returns home willing to be his father’s servant. When his dad sees him walking, he runs to him, and proceeds to prepare a large feast for him. Glen Fitzjerrell said it best, “Jesus told the story of the Prodigal Son to make a simple point: never mind what you’ve done, just come home.” The son was not expecting a feast, he was willing to be a servant for the rest of his days, he just needed a place to go. He was lost, and looking for a home, and he found one with his father again. Similarly, we can each turn to God in search of a place to go, and He will take us in and take us back. He will not forsake us. In Acts 17:27-28, it reads, “That they should seek the Lord, if haply they might feel after him, and find him, though he be not far from every one of us: For in him we live, and move, and have our being...for we are also his offspring.” Sometimes, we each find ourselves feeling lost or unsure of the next path to take, or door to go through. God isn’t far from each of us, He just requires us to feel after Him, which requires trusting in Him and His plan. God still wants to hear from us even when we have made mistakes, some of which we may feel are “unforgivable.” Besides murder, or denying the Holy Ghost, that simply isn’t true. Christ suffered in the Garden of Gethsemane, died on the cross, and was resurrected, sealing his mission, and atoning for our sins. He has already suffered for them; they have already been paid for. We need to humbly return to Him, and He will make us clean again. I have been the person laying in bed, staring at the ceiling all hours of the night, feeling lost and alone and, for a lack of a better word, empty. I felt that God wouldn’t want to hear from me until I had completely and totally repented of my mistakes, and overcame each of my temptations, because God is perfect, so why would He want me to speak to Him when I had so many shortcomings? I felt that God expected me to overcome all my temptations and trials on my own, and after I had done this, I could return to Him. I felt broken. I had a friend tell me that God will pour out blessings, literally opening the windows of heaven, so much so we don’t have room enough to receive them, and he also said that the amazing thing about this gospel is we get credit for trying. God will forgive us as many times as we humbly turn to Him and ask for forgiveness, He will help us heal, and He will cleanse our souls. Sometimes, we put up an umbrella through pride, or not obeying His commandments, or allowing Satan’s lies airtime in our minds, resulting in blocking the showers of blessings from heaven. I realized this was what I was doing, and that God did want to hear from me, and He did want to help me through the process of coming back to Him, because of my worth to Him as His child. I felt so much love for Him, and my Savior, and peace in my heart. This feeling is indescribable and in that moment, the suffering of both mind and spirit we have endured will be forgotten in the joy the Atonement brings. Satan and his followers would have us believe once we have sinned, God no longer wants to hear from us, and that is a lie. God wants us to return to live with Him, and He wants us to come back, because we are of great worth to Him.

God wants to hear from us when we feel broken. Those days we don’t feel like we can put one foot in front of the other without falling are crucial days to speak to God. God’s love is incredible, and it knows no bounds. It cannot break the irrevocable laws of heaven, but it is available to anyone who is remotely searching for it, no matter how lost they are or how broken they feel. God is always good, even on the really tough days. Perhaps broken is a broken heart, perhaps broken is a broken body, or perhaps broken is a mind which feels broken. In Luke 15, the Savior also teaches about the lost sheep. The shepherd will leave the ninety nine in search of the one, because of it’s worth to the Master. Dieter F. Uchdorf said, “The sheep is worthy of rescue, simply because it is loved by the Shepherd.” Maybe the one we are searching for really is lost from the group, wandering in wayward paths, but maybe the one is lost within the group, unsure of its place or role. Maybe the one is lost because it feels it has failed, and we need to find it to remind it that failure is not fatal, and it is not final. Maybe the one is lost because it feels lost in its own mind, unsure of how to go about controlling the emotions which overcome it. Whatever the case, God is searching for the one, so the rest of us probably should be to. More often than not, someone is praying for these lost sheep, begging God to bring them home. Sometimes, in order for this to happen, God needs someone who is willing to be an answer to someone else’s prayer. That’s where the ninety and nine come in. At some point, I feel the majority of us are the one, lost and broken, and looking for someone to help us, because we are unable to help ourselves at that point. Continue to press forward, continue putting one foot in front of the other, continue keeping your focus on the Savior, continue in search of God. The Atonement of Jesus Christ not only has the ability to cleanse us from sin, but to enable us to go on longer and farther than we thought possible. It can carry us when we cannot walk on our own anymore, and I am forever grateful for it.

God wants to hear from you. You are His child, you are enough, and you can do whatever God sets in front of you through the Atonement, and through praying and turning to Him.

Jeffrey R. Holland said, “No one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that He loves each of us - insecurities, anxieties, self-image and all.” I add my testimony to his, and testify that God knows each of you, He knows your joys and sorrows, your successes and your heartbreaks, and He loves you.

Please know that God wants to hear from you.

16 Things I Learned in 2016

Wow, I don't think I've ever had a single year where I have learned so much about myself, and my gratitude for that is great. So, without further ado, here's sixteen things I have learned in 2016.

1) Be present and be engaged. This seems to be a challenge society faces today with social media always being there. It can be an absolutely fantastic thing when used correctly. This year I have learned that although social media will always be there, precious moments with friends and family won't. It is so important to be all there in these moments, because the memories will be far greater than seeing the latest post, which will be there when you're done, too. I promise.

2) God will send angels to assist us. Although some are unseen, and are literal guardian angels sent to protect us, and help us, and carry us, some are most definitely seen every day. I have been blessed this year to come in contact with some of these angels. Each of them have been an answer to my prayers time and time again, and I am so very thankful for them. They are fantastic humans, and they make life so much better.

3) Never underestimate yourself.  You can do hard things - really hard things. You can accomplish anything you set your mind to. You are powerful, and capable.

4) Always look for the good. Look for the good in others, and look for the good in every situation. It's there, even if it is just a small silver lining. Life will change as one sees the good.

5) Trust God. Everything happens for a reason, and it's so essential to let go of what needs to go, and embrace the next opportunities in life. They will come.

6) Say yes to new adventures. Whether that means you pack up and leave, or if you try a new kind of ice cream, say yes to new adventures. There is probably something wonderful that you will love, and it's so important to go find it, whatever it may be. Step outside your comfort zone, climb a different mountain, and never turn down the chance to live through another adventure.

7) You are loved. Even when it seems the world is against you, there is someone out there more than you could possibly imagine. There is someone out there who has your back, and who would do anything to help you out in a bind. These people are fantastic, and I am so grateful for them.

8) Tell people how you feel. If you are grateful for someone, tell them. If you appreciate what they do for you, tell them. If you admire a quality they have, tell them. If you love them, tell them. It could change their whole day, they might need to hear it more than you know. Even if they don't, it's always nice to know, you know?

9) Balance. Although maintaining a healthy lifestyle is important, ice cream is fantastic as well. Although I absolutely love rodeo, and basketball, sometimes a break is necessary. Balance in all things can be, well, a balancing act, but it needs to happen for physical and mental health to prevail.

10) Find joy. Joy is to be found in the day to day details, and not just in the "events" or "episodes" of our lives. Never give up. Keep going forward. Go forward with hope and an attitude of faith. Find the grit you need, and keep grinding. Life is fantastic, and there is so much happiness to be had.

11) You are worth it. You are beautiful, even on the days you don't feel like it. You are worth it, today, tomorrow, and always, and don't let anyone treat you like you aren't.

12) Everything will work out. If you don't know what to do with your life, or where to start, or what to do, know that as you move forward with goals and dreams, pieces to the puzzle will start to fit. You will see why nothing fit before, and everything will work out in the end. If it isn't working out yet, it's not the end!

13) If you like the picture, post it. Post it even if you already posted that day, or the day before, or if your friend posted a similar one. If you like the picture, post it. The "rules" about social media are overrated. Don't become obsessed with likes or comments or retweets or collection updates. My social media accounts are mine, and if you don't appreciate my rules (which are nonexistant) I'm fine with that. I post what I like when I like because it means something to me!

14) Failure is not fatal. Mistakes, to some extent, are inevitable. Failing does not make you a bad person, or a failure, it means you took a risk and it didn't work out. Dare to stand up, dust off, and try again, this time with the new knowledge you acquired because of your fall. Failing is not going to kill you, so dare to fail on a large scale. Set yourself up for success, but if you fail, it's totally okay!

15) Unlikely friends can be the best kind. I have a few new amazing friends from the last year who could definitely qualify as unlikely friends. Don't let that stop you from finding fantastic people.

16) Pursue excellence. Whatever you set your mind to, do it fantastically. Don't allow mediocrity to become a regular occurrence in your life. Do things on a grand scale, and allow yourself to dream on that same scale. Life is a wonderful thing that needs to be lived, not just survived. Excellence is around every corner, so don't settle for less. Don't finish books that aren't worth it, don't do things that aren't worth it. Live fabulously, and pursue excellence.

I hope you enjoyed these, or learned something from them. Here's to an amazing 2017!

Hallelujah

The thoughts behind this post derived from the song, Hallelujah, by Jeff Buckley. The song itself is catchy, but the lyrics are a little bit weird. Regardless, one line in this song particularly caught my attention: "And love is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah."

Just so you know, hallelujah means God be praised.

 Let's replace love with life, or learning to love God, or becoming more Christlike. Any of things seem to fit in to the line, as none of these things are easy at any given point in our lives, but especially when life is hard.

Becoming more Christlike, or learning to love God is not a victory march, it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah, not because we are alone in the endeavor by any means, but because it's difficult, and can seem impossible and extremely daunting. There are days when our efforts may not seem sufficient to us, but as we continually work towards the quality we are so desperately trying to achieve, God will assist us in our efforts. People are not out to show off their Christlike characteristics, at least I would hope not! That would entirely defeat the purpose of striving to become as He is, since humility was often used to describe Him. Throughout His life, I'm sure there were moments where He felt alone, and cold, and possibly broken, but without fail, He continually praised the Lord.

When we each make an effort in our lives to continually praise the Lord despite, or rather, in spite of our circumstances, we will see that we are most definitely not alone. Whether it be in a calling, in a job position, in parenting, or in any other struggles, we are not asked to accomplish what we need to alone. There are times when we feel that we are not doing enough, or worse, we are not enough. I promise you that you are enough. With the help of God, you will be able to overcome the obstacle, no matter now insurmountable it may seem, you are facing. During the times we feel we are not doing enough, or that our efforts are not making a difference, we need not fear, but rather continue pressing forward, continually singing praises to God. On those days when we feel we can no longer sing them aloud, we should sing them in our hearts. It may seem like it would be easier to just not, to hide and retreat, but this is not for the best. God will assist us, and He will carry us when we cannot walk alone.

As we head into the Christmas season, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has a new initiative called Light the World. It starts December 1st, and the goal is to provide service on a global scale on each of the twenty five days before Christmas. If you are interested, more information can be found here. There are a lot of people around each of our communities, or perhaps in our families, that are doing their best to continue forward in their lives, but their spirits need to be lifted, and this is the perfect opportunity to reach out and help. Maybe these people are not people we know, but maybe they are, and they need a little effort from you to lighten their spirit this season.

Life is not a victory march, it's a cold, and it's a broken hallelujah.

Failure Is Not Fatal

I have been thinking about failure and how people respond to set backs lately, and a couple recent conversations reopened the vault in my mind again, so brace yourself!

We all know that mistakes in this life are inevitable, and we are supposed to learn from them and try not to make them again, and when you make one you are supposed to say sorry, and blah, blah, blah...Am I right?!

There has to be more to it than that! It isn't just about trying to avoid the same mistake, it's about allowing the mistakes to change us, to change our behavior, to change our thought processes. It's more than trying again, it's trying again with a renewed desire to be better. Mistakes can be, and often are, preparatory stages in our lives, so we are better able to handle similar scenarios the next time they may present themselves in our lives.

I'm going to share three points about failure I feel are important.

1) Embrace mistakes to a certain extent. Dare to take risks, even if it may not turn out the way you imagined it would. Sitting still, and never doing anything in order to not make any mistakes is a mistake in itself, so I don't recommend taking that route. Getting outside of our comfort zones and allowing ourselves to be necessarily vulnerable will inevitably lead to mistakes of varying size, but in that process, we can learn from those mishaps and let changes occur in our lives. Although taking risks is important, and indeed, essential, we need to make sure we aren't taking risks just to take risks, because that isn't the point. There are times and places to take risks, and times and places not to take risks. This judgement comes after we allow ourselves to grow after we fail. There is a point after failing in which we can develop a better version of the person we are, but we have to choose to work at it; we don't magically become whole after being broken without some healing, or some time. Mistakes are inevitable, but we need to be careful to only take necessary risks.

2) Failing does not make you a failure. Failing means you stepped outside your comfort zone and experimented with something new, and it didn't work that time. There's a chance it could happen next time, so don't give up. If you stick your neck out and take a risk, and it doesn't work out, I applaud you! It's hard to do things that doesn't have guaranteed success, it's scary and leaves you feeling vulnerable. You are not a failure, even if you make mistakes. Success and greatness are built on failure upon failure upon frustration upon occasional catastrophe. Don't give up, don't give in, don't quit. (Unless you are trying to sew something, in which case, it's totally acceptable to quit.) You are remarkable right now, you were remarkable before your last failure, and you will still be remarkable after you fail again. If you fall, pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. And again. And again. Eventually, if you continue to work hard, your time will come. Don't let failing at something convince you that you are a failure.

3)Failure is not final, it is not fatal, and it is not forever. This is pretty self-explanatory, but I am going to suggest that perhaps the "failure" is actually a door of opportunity which may not have otherwise been opened. The very thing we failed at could lead us to greater prospects further down the road.

Henry B. Eyring said, "If you are on the right path, it will always be uphill." It's going to be challenging, it's going to test you, and there will be times you will fail. Don't give up! You can do things you never imagined possible, just don't give up.

Broken Crayons Still Color

I'm going to share something a little bit personal with you today.

Are you ready?

Here it is:

Broken crayons still color.

Novel, right?

Just kidding, I'm sure you've heard that phrase, or read it somewhere multiple times. In fact, if you're like me, you've probably been exposed to it so many times, it lost its punch a while ago. My goal today is to revive it, because it is so unbelievably valuable to anyone who has been, or currently is, broken.

Broken. Maybe you are literally physically broken, in which case, I am sorry, and I hope you have a speedy recovery. Maybe, though, you are mentally, or emotionally, or spiritually broken, and this is who I feel this will apply to more.

I have felt broken a few times in my life. I can tell you from experience, it is not a pleasant journey, but it can be one filled with joy. There are times you feel there is no way you could ever be whole again, there is no one who still loves you, and I testify to you that is false. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS IN YOUR LIFE, GOD STILL LOVES YOU. HE STILL KNOWS YOU, HE STILL CARES ABOUT YOU, AND HE WILL NOT FORSAKE YOU!

(No, my caps lock did not get stuck, I needed to use my online outdoor voice to make my message clear!)

While Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ do not approve of sins, they do allow us opportunities to repent, and not only do we have that chance given to us, they will also take our broken hearts, and broken minds, and broken souls, and heal them. I do not mean that any mental disorders will immediately be resolved because we ask them to do that, but They will give us the strength to handle them. You see, we do not need to pay for our own sins, because Christ already did. That's why He suffered and died for us! As we turn to the Lord with our entire heart to help us overcome our adversities, and to allow Him to heal us, we will be filled with peace, and understanding. I promise.

As I was sitting in church today, I felt my ankle throbbing from an injury two years ago. I sprained it in basketball, and although I can still do everything I want to, it does bother me occasionally, and I have to wear braces for both basketball, and rodeo. If you ask my family, they say I need them to walk across the field too, or else I will roll it again. Even though it is healed, my ankle is still weak and it hurts and I have to make sure I take care of it. This is not true with the healing power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ. It heals us completely. There will be times when we cannot understand the process, and it will be painful, but the pain of it can be swallowed up by the joy found in Christ, and in His Atonement.

Just because you break does not mean you are worthless. You are loved, you are known, and you are worth it. Christ suffered on the cross for you, He already paid the price for you to return to Him.

President Thomas S. Monson said, "Our task is to become our best selves. One of God's greatest gifts to us is the joy of trying again, for no failure ever need be final." How awesome and empowering is that! No failure ever need be final, because a failure is a chance to start again, to become who we are destined to be. I personally do not believe in rock bottom. I feel that if we turn to Christ, He will not let us ever hit such a low point, He will carry our burdens, that they may be lighter, and bearable for us as children of God.

Broken crayons still color. If you feel broken, please don't stop living. Don't stop coloring, even if the broken crayon makes your artwork seem blurry, or dull, or you color outside the lines a little bit. As you push forward, you will see that the crayons don't become how they once were, but they change, and perhaps they become how they were destined to be all along. Before long, you'll look at the big picture and come to love those broken crayons, and the enthralling masterpiece they helped create!

Slumps, Bumps, and Grit.

There is a thing in rodeo you see,
and at the moment, it's well-known to me;
hopefully you are having better luck,
trying your hardest not to suck.
But alas, I'm sinking in the standings,
and nothing is holding me up except my fan-lings.
Unbeknownst to me and maybe you,
this poem somehow became a little askew,
and I find it fitting,
life seems to head like that since the Beginning.
Don't sit in despair!
No, don't be scared!
How? Why?
Life can be a tad bit dry,
But, nonetheless, life of your hearts
and be of good cheer;
don't believe all your eggs are in one cart,
and it's about to smash and smear,
because that's simply not the case!
Your mind is set on a good base,
so the bumps won't hold you down,
or leave you flat on your back with a frown.
I've seen it deep within you,
that mentality where you refuse to lose,
NO MATTER WHAT!
It's that grit,
that ability to dig down and never quit
that sets us apart from the rest,
and someday, we will be at our best!
All these slumps, and bumps bring out our grit,
it's just the way it goes - no need to throw a fit!

I don't know if you've ever been in a slump, but they aren't fun. They are a great chance to learn and grow and become something more, but they aren't fun. Sure, the practice pen is fine, it just happens to be a bit rougher when you actually get into a competition. I had a conversation with a girl who is one of the handiest girls in rodeo I've ever met, and we were saying everyone goes through them, some last longer than others, but sooner or later they end. It doesn't mean you never struggle again, but you find a rhythm again. There are only a few ways to get out of a slump (that I know of, if you have more suggestions, by all means, share them) and they aren't easy.

The first one is you have to change your mindset. Somehow you have to trick your subconscious self into believing this time it's different. Whether you change the way you warm up, or what you picture in the box, you have to find a way to understand this time it will be different. This applies to anything. If it's not working, change your mindset, and convince yourself this time it's different.

The second suggestion is to rope out of it. If you can't put a run together, rope. If you can't figure out your mindset, rope. You have to keep going; you can't get out of a pit if you sit and wait for a miracle. Miracles happen as a result of hard work. Keep going. Keep swinging. Keep your head up. It's gotta click eventually.

Bumps go along with slumps; they are upsets or disappointments in life that come up, sometimes out of nowhere, and slow down our progress on the Road of Life. They require patience and hope. I refuse to give up hope that maybe tomorrow, the challenge I'm facing will be manageable. There are two options for bumps: hide and wither away, or stand up to it, look it square in the eyes, and don't let it stop you. Seriously, look at it and tell it you won't let it control you, not today, not tomorrow, not ever.

Grit is a dirty word and I love it. It doesn't come to those who give up, or those who want to just go with the flow. Grit is the determination that no matter what, you won't back off, you'll keep fighting, and you aren't afraid to get your hands dirty. It's the raw endurance required in life. Grit is sticking to your goals and dreams day in and day out, not just for today, or tomorrow, or the rest of the week, or even the rest of the year, but until your dreams are your reality and your goals are accomplished. No grit, no pearls. Refuse to give in, stay with it! The challenges you are facing today are in your life for a purpose, it's most beneficial if you find out why, but that will require grit.

Here's to a fantastic week, full of ended slumps, overcoming bumps, and acquiring grit! God has your back, just let Him show you. 

Flying

Please don't be afraid to fall.

Wow, that was surprisingly easy to say. If only it was that easy to do...

Falling. The word is not very extravagant or fancy, its rather simple, but it has power. It has the power to keep people in their comfort zones, away from heights, edges, and mountainous cliffs. The fear of falling is intense, and can hold people back from chasing their dreams. Falling in front of peers, in our own minds, in front of our family, and in front of everyone watching and counting on us are all terrifying (to me anyways) and sometimes the tasks we have at hand can seem totally overwhelming. In fact, sometimes it can be crippling.

So, what keeps us going? Why do we still take risks? Why shouldn't we all just sit on Netflix ALL THE TIME? Isn't it safer?

Yes, it's safer. Yes, watching Netflix all the time can seem tempting, and it won't hurt in the end. The issue with this is we don't gain anything. We don't grow, we don't change, we don't learn.

Life is full of opportunities to grow and learn and develop ourselves. We need to make an effort to take advantage of these things. Don't wait for tomorrow, don't wait until someone else does it, too. Decide today, no, not just today, decide right now that you want to achieve your goals, that you want to fly. Don't be afraid to fall in love. Don't be afraid to fall in love with a person, or with life, even at the risk of falling. 

"There is freedom waiting for you, on the breezes of the sky, and you ask, "What if I fall? Oh but my darling. what if you fly?" Erin Hanson nailed it on the head. Flying is exactly what follows when we overcome the fear of falling. The feeling of liberation lets minds and hearts become peaceful, and content. 

God is good. In fact, He is really, really good. When you decide you want to fly, He will help you as your wings grow. Be patient, be humble. He will make you more than you ever imagined.

I hope someday I can look at myself in the mirror with laugh lines deeply engrained on my face, satisfied with the life I lived, and full of fantastic memories: some extravagant, some simple. I hope I will have surpassed my own expectations and helped people and never turned away a questioning soul. I hope my eyes still look for the good in people and I hope my heart overflows with gratitude for the wonderful life I have been given the chance to live, because it is fantastically beautiful, in every sense of the word.

Choosing Not to Rodeo on Sunday

This is my response I wish I had when people ask me why I don't rodeo on Sunday. I probably gave a four syllable answer, along the lines of I'm a Mormon, but that isn't a fantastic answer.

This is in NO WAY intended to say that Mormons who rodeo on Sunday are bad, or that I am better than them, or anything along those lines. This is why I choose not to compete on Sundays in the season.

First of all, when I was in grade nine, my dad said we wouldn't go on Sundays. If I would've fought him in this, he probably would have let me go. He told me if I didn't go on Sundays, I would be blessed. My naïve grade nine mentality thought this meant I would do well in rodeo simply because I didn't compete on Sunday. This was not the case. I didn't qualify for provincials in grade nine, and I was sure it was because I had only gone to the rodeos held on Friday and Saturday, and I wasn't totally sure if I ever would qualify for provincials, but that was alright with me at that point.

In grade ten, I qualified for provincials in one event tied for tenth. (They take the top ten in each district.) I then qualified for the Canadian High School Finals, which is the top six in each province. This was a huge testimony builder to me, and I continued to work hard to improve in the sport I love.

I used Hanna's horse for the fall of grade eleven, then I started hauling my own mare in the spring. Needless to say, it took us a few rodeos to get on the same page, and I fell down continuously in the breakaway standings. I was still for sure going to qualify in goat tying, but I was hoping to qualify in both events. It didn't look like it was going to happen. In fact, my dad told me even if I won the last rodeo, I wouldn't have had enough points to make it in the top ten, and I had nothing to lose. I won the final rodeo, and ended up tied for tenth again headed to provincials. The final rodeo of the season was snowed out, and so I made it. (My dad was a little off in his calculations, thank goodness.)

Provincials came, and I had a goal to make it to Nationals. I thought if I was going to go, it would be in goats, since I was seeded higher in that event.

On the last day, I knew I had to catch my last calf in breakaway to have a chance to win the average and hopefully qualify for Nationals. I did that, and I just went to get ready for goat tying, which was next. The girl who won Alberta came over, super excited for me, and told me I qualified to go. I was shocked; I had no idea I would qualify after coming in to provincials in last place. Literally. Last.

Nationals was fun, I learned so much about competition and personal growth and the opportunities available in this fantastic sport. I did alright in the second run, and felt confident going into Canadians.

I don't know why, but I was so excited for Canadians. I couldn't sleep the night before, I was shaking with excitement when we pulled in. I had been there before, and was ready for the competition.

I was one of three girls to catch two calves, I was third high call for the final round. I caught my calf, and waited to see how the other two girls would do. They both missed, and I was shaking again. I didn't stop shaking for a solid twenty four hours after that run. Multiple people asked me how it felt to be the Canadian High School Finals Breakaway Champion. My response was it felt good, it felt like everything I had been doing for years finally paid off.

The fact that I qualified for provincials was a testament to me that I was blessed for not competing on Sundays. Then I qualified for Nationals, and I could not deny the Source of my success.

Yes, it does put me at a disadvantage to only compete and roughly half of the rodeos in the regular season.

Is it worth it to me? Absolutely. Would I change it? No. Why is this my answer? It all comes down to one truth.

Rodeo is what I do, it's not who I am. I am a daughter of God, and I love Him with my entire being. I would do anything for Him. I wouldn't choose to rodeo on Sunday now, because for me, that means I would change my relationship with Him and His Son, Jesus Christ, and there is nothing, nothing, that would be worth that for me.

There are tons of quotes from General Authorities about keeping the Sabbath Day holy. I think it must be pretty important, it's listed in the commandments along with "Do not kill," and things like that. I'll share a couple of my favorite quotes.

The first one comes from Quenton L. Cook. He said, "Keeping the Sabbath Day is a refuge from the storms of this life." A refuge! How cool of a promise is that?!

Henry B. Eyering said, "When you do your part, the Lord adds His power to your efforts." I know this is true with my entire being.

I love rodeo, I love the rush, I live for the next run. But the high from competing is nothing compared to the love I feel from my Heavenly Father.

I know that my Redeemer lives, what comfort this sweet sentence gives!

Because I have been given many opportunities in life, as well as in this sport, I feel I should give, too. The Sabbath Day is something I give to my Savior, and that is why I choose not to rodeo on Sunday.

Things Are No Longer Things

What if one day you woke up and things were no longer a thing?

Let's take a moment and define things. For the sake of this post, please assume that they are things such as cars, houses, clothes, computers, phones, etc. I'm not necessarily suggesting that they will evaporate overnight, but rather that our priorities suddenly become placed on other things because of a sudden accident, illness, or passing of a loved one. But who knows? Maybe things really will just evaporate:)

If this happened, there would probably be a few groups of people. Let's discuss them, shall we?

Group #1: This group is utterly distraught. All their hard work suddenly goes "down the drain, with nothing to show for it." Things were their life, possessions and collections drove them to work. They spent long hours working to be able to purchase more things. They often have very nice homes with lots of admirable things inside, but very little meaning is associated to all of their stuff. These people are all about looks and outside appearances; they invented "cool." Things are no longer a thing, and they are lost and empty without their vast amounts of stuff. Their relationships with people probably weren't stellar since possessions were a priority in their life, and people came in second.

Group #2: This group isn't distraught, but they aren't thrilled either. They like their stuff, it is mostly sentimental things someone gave them for Christmas from Walmart, but it was very thoughtful. They appreciate stuff and like to keep it around. If you want to get their heart, all you have to do is buy them a present. They don't focus all their energy on things, they have a solid relationship with the people they associate with, but they don't necessarily go out of their way to make the world a better place for everyone, because things are pretty fabulous.

Group #3: This group doesn't care that things are no longer a thing. They have everything they need in life without things. Their relationships with family and friends are strong, they are trustworthy (not that the other groups necessarily aren't) and they have compassion. They love their life without things, they have memories of grand adventures and good times to fill those spaces where things can creep into your desires. They go out of their way to serve others and give what they can, when they can. The world is at their fingertips because they don't dedicate all their time, energy, and resources to obtaining more and better things. Their lives are filled with meaning; their intents are always good. They constantly strive to make the world a better place.

Now, these are the three main groups according to me, but there are definitely subgroups and varying levels within each group.

Let's say tomorrow you wake up and all of your things weren't available. How would you react? I'm going to suggest that you do a self evaluation by placing yourself in a group, and see if you like where you end up. If you do, great! If not, it might be time to change your mindset...because who knows, tomorrow you could wake up and things are no longer a thing.

High School Rodeo 2016

Rodeo. Just the word sends shivers up my spine, my adrenaline starts pumping, and I feel at home.

I've been riding since I could walk, although sometimes I didn't think I would ever compete in rodeo. It was cool to watch my dad but I didn't have my own burning desire to compete, that is, until I actually did start competing. Once I got the taste of the excitement of it all, I was sure that I wanted to do that for the rest of my life.

There's nothing quite like this sport. In breakaway, for example, my horse and I have to be on the same page, but so does the calf, the guy running the chute, the timer, the flagman, and even the person in the chute pushing my calf. It all happens in roughly four seconds, and there's so many variables. That's what I love about it. Some days it happens, and some days it doesn't, and that's the beauty of it. We are on such a roller coaster all the time, being the best one day to not so hot the next. Rodeo has taught me how to win and lose graciously, because it's the only choice if you want to be able to compete consistently.

In the last two weeks, I've had the opportunity to compete at the National High School Finals Rodeo in Gillette, Wyoming. There were 1637 competitors, and 1900 horses there. It was the largest rodeo in history. Then I was able to go to the Canadian High School Finals Rodeo in Nanton, Alberta. The top six competitors in each province are invited to compete there. I have been blessed to learn and grow from these opportunities, and I am grateful for them.

If I could tell anyone, but especially young girls a thing or two, it would be this: when you are in the heat of the moment, backed in the box, ready to go, just take one second and let the whole situation sink into your mind, and enjoy it. Never take an opportunity for granted, and always be kind to people.

As I think back on that moment where I was backed in the box at Nationals, with people from all over behind me, I could feel the energy from all of these people. It was almost tangible. The feeling of joy and excitement was incredible. At that moment, it was no longer about me. It was about everyone who never got the chance to come, but who ropes as good as anyone. It was about the people who supported me so I could get here, about the coaches who have spent countless hours helping me to be able to rope, but also to be mentally tough, in the arena of rodeo, and in the arena of life.

There might be better ways to make a living, but there is no better way to live. We compete against our best friends, no one backs off for the other person, and we are still friends at the end of the day. It's an incredible life, I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Moroni's Quest 2016

I don't know how to perfectly put into words my experience at Moroni's Quest, but I'm going to do my best. To say it was life changing doesn't explain it. To say it was overwhelming is an understatement. I fear nothing I can say will do it the justice it deserves, but I also believe I need to record my experience here.

So, what is Moroni's Quest? Every youth aged fourteen and up in our stake was invited to attend this amazing event where the stories in the Book of Mormon were reenacted. There was an amazing team of people that had thought of everything, from sound to security to superb meals. When we arrived on Friday morning, we were assigned to a tribe that had eight or nine kids in it, with leaders who have been preparing for a year to teach us.

On the first day, we rode buses to a place by Police Lake, where we started our journey to the promised land, or the campground. We followed Lehi and his family from place to place, and we learned about the stories and experiences of this remarkable family. They literally left everything behind to follow the Lord. This day taught me that sometimes the great things the Lord has in store for us take time, patience, and ultimately, trust in Him and His plan. Sacrifices that we make for Him will lead us down greater roads than we ever could've imagined.

The next day, we covered a vast majority of the Book of Mormon, from things like King Benjamin's address to battles to Samuel the Lamanite telling of the signs of Christ's birth. One of the events that affected me deeply was the story of Abinadi. This man gave His life in order to do what God had asked of Him, adding his name to a long list of martyrs, sealing his work with his life. He trusted God so much that He was willing to give everything he had, and he ultimately gave his life here to preach the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Another event that touched me was Mosiah's sons and their desire to serve missions. There was two called missionaries and two returned missionaries that bore their testimonies abut missionary work, and one of the returned missionaries is a girl from my ward. She said, "God loves each one of us and He wants us to love the gospel, each other, and ourselves." Sometimes, I feel like I'm not enough, but I know that in God's eyes, I am definitely enough.

Throughout the day, we would have discussions about what we learned and what our thoughts were with our tribes. We were also given time to write in our journals any thoughts we had about what was happening. At some point on Saturday afternoon, I wrote, "The power of God isn't for a select few of us. The love of God is for every man, woman, and child to ever exist. It's not for those who achieve certain things or love God "this much." It's for all of us, in all of us, ingrained in our spiritual and physical beings. We are always deserving of it."

Every event in the Book of Mormon is meaningful to me, but some of them sunk deeper into my mind and heart in this event than others did. The last one I'll share that happened on Saturday was the two thousand stripling warriors that Helaman lead to battle. They had every young man that had a mother there come to the stage and their moms all came and sang to them. It was an amazing thing to see those boys up there, and it was especially cool to see all of the ones with mission calls standing up there, ready to go and serve God. Today, our young men aren't called to go to battle or anything like that, but they are called to serve missions. They have been taught in their youth, and they will be the Lord's missionaries to bring the world His truth. They have the ability to overcome every obstacle set in front of them with God's help. We all do.

On Sunday morning, we all gathered together and sat in our tribes. The Savior (our stake president) came out into our gathering, and an immediate overwhelming feeling of love covered every person there in attendance. A few kids got up and hugged Him, and then everyone stood up to get in line to hug him. Meanwhile, hugs were shared with everyone. There were no groups, no age differences, no friend circles that mattered there. Everyone was equal.

I know that He lives. I know that He loves me, regardless of my imperfections. He loves me despite of my short comings and faults. He loves me. This is an unchanging truth, I know He knows me and my imperfections and my challenges and my struggles. He knows exactly what we need exactly when we need it. I know that God will carry me when I cannot walk on my own. I know that Christ lives, I know He suffered for my sins so I can repent. Oh, how sweet this sentence is! I know that my Redeemer lives!

I have heard some people state that the gospel of Jesus Christ isn't for them. There are some things that aren't for me, such as drawing, or singing, but I know that the gospel of Jesus Christ is for everyone. I know that the love of God is for everyone, and I know that God forgives all those who are willing to turn to Him with a humble heart.

There were so many amazing experiences in those four days, and I am incredibly grateful that I had the chance to go. I know that the adversary is going to be working hard on the people that were there because he doesn't want us to succeed, but I know as we strive to become more Christlike, we will have the ability to overcome any temptations we have.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is true. I know this with all my heart.

The Mountains are Calling

"The mountains are calling, and I must go." 

I love adventures. Big ones, small ones, spontaneous ones, you name it, I love them. Mountains seem to hold endless adventures on their peaks, hidden in their valleys, mixed among their trees, and living in the water. They are peaceful, the rush of reality and chaos of every day life is left behind in the mountains. 

Many times in the scriptures, prophets of God are called to the mountains to receive revelation, and it makes sense. I personally don't think it's because they are closer to heaven, but because they aren't filled with the noise that is so apparent in life. It's easier to hear God when we listen without distractions, and it's easier to learn when it's a little bit challenging. 

Hiking isn't easy. I would much prefer to ride a horse up the mountain. I'm more comfortable, it's not as physically and emotionally straining. It hurts. And I don't like it, step by step. It pushes you. It's always uphill both ways I'm pretty sure.  But I do know I never regret it when I'm done. (That's a lie. The next day I always regret it, but mostly because I'm super sore.) Mountains teach me something nothing else could. 

When we are in crowded places, sometimes our thoughts become chaotic and close minded, but as we get into open places, our minds allow room for growth and positive thoughts.

If you're feeling clouded over, I challenge you to go to the mountains. It's a fantastic stress reliever, you can find peace and joy there. I guarantee you'll remember it later, unlike mowing your lawn again. When the mountains are calling you, I suggest you answer it. 

Moving Onward & Upward

Toxic people will drag you down and hold you back from reaching your potential & that's the truth. If you have them in your life, do your best to change that. If you can't change it, try to change the situation. If you can't change the situation, make the best of it and don't let them drag you down. Sometimes you have to let people go, because you grow. It's not because they are bad or you are better, but we all change. Change is hard, it can hurt. Sometimes you don't want to let people go, and sometimes you don't know how. 

I have a lot of mothers in my life. One of them told me that when someone does something to hurt you, and it seems to weigh on your mind a lot, you have to find a way to let them go. She suggested writing their name on a paper, building a little boat, and letting them sail away in a river or lake or some water. This is her physical way of mentally reminding herself that it's time to move on. Doing this allows for a weight to be lifted off your shoulders, it's an incredible feeling. 

Yes, bad things will happen to you. Yes, you might be hurt or offended by people. Yes, you have to let bitterness go. Yes, you should let yourself grow & move on. 

Let the negativity go. Let yourself be happy and let yourself move on. 

Have a fantastic day! 

Because of a Mother

Because of a mother, I have learned to stand on my own two feet. I've been taught that no matter what, you pick yourself up and dust off and continue forward, one foot in front of the other. If someone wants to push me around, I can stand up for myself. 

Because of a mother, I have learned the importance of helping other people. I have learned about selfless love and the ability to help everyone you meet in some way or another. It's not about having the fanciest things, but the most beautiful heart. 

Because of a mother, I have learned to appreciate my own worth and to never underestimate my potential. I have become aware that my moms don't want me to settle for anything less than my best. I have come to realize that my mothers believe in me when I don't believe in myself. 

Because of a mother, I have learned about selfless sacrifice. Sometimes your own needs or wants get pushed down the list. Mothers spend money and an endless amount of time to see others succeed. 

Because of my grandmother, I understand what surviving takes. I've learned that sometimes you have to be innovative and creative in your thinking when you don't always have everything you could want. I've learned that people, especially our family, come before any worldly items. 

Because of a rodeo mother, I've learned that you're going to fall, but you always always always pick yourself up and get back on. There's always another rodeo, always another time to better yourself. I've also learned that sometimes you have to grind down and get your calloused hands dirty and get the job done. 

Because of a basketball mother, I've learned to push through pain even when it hurts. I've learned that your knees might get bruised, but it's all for the love of the game and the love of your team. I've learned there is more to it than a win or loss, it's about relationships and accomplishing goals. 

Because of a mother, I have dreams and a desire to help the people around me, both strangers and friends. I have a will, if you will, to make the world a better place. I have been taught to go after what you want, and to not back down to a challenge, no matter how big or scary it might seem, because, after all, I know my mothers have my back.